He Was Found in the Wreck With His Hand on the Throttle, Scalded to Death by the Steam....

Five points to whoever recognized that line as being from 'The Wreck of Old 97'! Ok, so no one's been scalded. At least not to death. But I HAVE come to a few conclusions recently. One of them is that I will NEVER, no matter how hard I might try, make it as a barista. It's just not in my cards. Ever. Why, you ask? Well, the answer is simple, considering that our little farm coffee pot manages to fry some part of my body on a daily basis, I just don't see barista in my near future. I mean, seriously, I've burned my ARMPIT. How does someone manage that??? An ARMPIT for crying bananas. Welcome to my life.

The other conclusion that I've come to, and this one is a little less amusing, if not exactly 'woe as me over the cliff I go' hair rendingly dramatic. The conclusion is this: I am not happy at this point in my life. The reason that I am not happy at this point in my life is that I feel as though my writing is 'going nowhere'. I put the 'going nowhere' in quotations because it isn't really a physiological truth. Your writing is never stagnant. Never. No matter how unchanged you perceive it to be, it is, in truth, progressing. It just doesn't always feel that way to YOU. *sigh* This is a normal thing for anyone who's trying to break into the commercial writing industry. I know it's normal because I've had authors (successful authors) hug me and tell me it's normal. But they couldn't tell me exactly how it was going to feel, because you can't describe a feeling like that to someone who hasn't felt it. Now I know. And I'm done with knowing how it feels to think that no one, nowhere established in the industry has any faith or interest in you. I'd say I never needed to know what it was like to feel this way, but I think you do need to know, so that when you HAVE made it into the industry, you have compassion for all of those frustrated hopefuls. And on that note THANK YOU to every successful author, agent, editor, and anyone else in the industry who has been kind and supportive to me. I would not be where I am, trudging onward towards my goal if not for all of you :)

So, the question is, how do I adapt to this unhappy stage? To start, I think I have to let go of EVERNOW. I don't mean actually let go. But it might be time to stop querying it. Stop entering it in contests (although I'm still in Brenda's 'It was a dark and stormy night' blogfest/contest) stop looking for agents who are seeking dystopian work. Stop (for now) working on the companion novel. Just stop. I don't want to stop. I think Evernow says something. Especially with the world today, I think a book about a girl who refuses to settle for warfare and instead struggles for peace with a race unlike her own is a book kids should read. But I will stop. For now. And I'll work on something else. Red Chief most likely. I do love my pain in the ass, back-talking to Faeries, bad tempered Eimhear, and I think that it could be commercially successful too. So, onward! Although I admit that I'll glance back over my shoulder more than once...

What about you? Does anyone out there (published or not) have a book that they think will actually have a good impact on people reading it? Anybody (published or soon to be) have a book that is not slated for publication that they would sell a kidney to get into print simply because they believe in it?

Yeah... What Was I Going to Say?

Hmmm, I seem to be writing a blog post... which is going to encompass about a bazillion subjects... and I'm so scattered at the moment that I can't even get them into something that resembles order... but here goes...

It's so cold here that you can't blow your nose outside because the tissue will frees to it. Seriously. And I love winter but this isn't fun.

I'm feeling out of sorts because I can't settle on one WIP to focus on. I'm like a deranged hen. Normally I have eggs stashed all over, but I only go to sitting on one nest. Not so this time, I'm bouncing back and forth and it's hard on the hind-parts. I think this unsettled jag is being exacerbated by a query slump. Not that I've gotten oodles of rejections (just a few) but that I don't have many queries out. I hope to rectify this, but with the holidays, I expect that even rejections will be slow, which is understandable.

Speaking of chickens, my Demon Chicken Franklin is looking, well, sort of old. I mean, Frankie IS old. But that doesn't mean I like to think about him being old. *sigh* The frigid temps aren't helping. I've added extra heating lamps, and the old boy seems comfortable. His age is just showing more. I love my Demon Chickens.

Christmas shopping has been the biggest nightmare that never was. Meaning that I'm still trying to get it done. Thankfully, most of the people I'm so concerned with getting presents for, don't care if I give them anything at all :)

I want to enter some contests, just to be doing something 'else' besides obsessing over my novels and querying agents. Trouble is, I'm having trouble finding any contests. And before you suggest it, I know that Writer Market has a great listing... I've put it on my Christmas list... since I don't have the $$ to go buy for myself... Any suggestions?

And finally, I'll post again (in a much more articulated manner) about this tomorrow, but I wanted to give everyone a heads-up now, that I'm going to be guest hosting over at Christi Corbett's blog on Weds and I want to invite everyone to head over an check it out! Christi is a great lady who runs an awesome blog. I'm uber thrilled and excited to guest host! More on that tomorrow... if I can still find the computer...

Now I'm off for some coffee, and to work on Redchief... I mean Anima Rising... or was it Thornbriar? Crap... at least the ideas are coming... can't complain about that...

I've Been Bad...

Okay, not that bad. But I did promise that I would get some more posts up about Sirens and my Colorado adventures... and, well, I've been revising instead...

I've finally 'finished' the revisions on Evernow. I've successfully (I think) added in another character, Lena, and although she doesn't show up until much later in the book, I think events are more believable with her as their vector. I also had some angst about Evernow herself coming across as too Mary Sue, even though I've never had a prospective agent, or beta reader make a peep about Mary Sueness... With the arrival of Lena, some of the pressure to save the day is off of Evernow, and yet Ever is able to maintain the stubborn indomitableness that is so much a part of her character.

Now I'm reading through everything yet one more time, trying to prepare to send off queries to a few select agents. For the first time, I'm having some Sicilian hair-rending attacks over the idea of these queries. It's hard to articulate why, since I've got an entire bowl full of rejections, but I think it's a combination of things. The fact is, I LOVE these agents and their presence in the literary world... rejections from them will be scarring. Not so much because I'll have failed to secure an agent, but because I'll have 'lost' the chance to show them I'm worth their time and effort. Another factor is that after a year of querying Evernow, I'm feeling as though perhaps I've been clinging to a star I 'thought' was going to fall... meanwhile other stories, or stars, were passing me by because of the time I spent on Evernow. I won't give up on Evernow, but I feel as though I may be facing a time when I'll be forced to set it aside. Then there's the fact that I feel like I'm not getting any younger. Rome wasn't built in a day, I'm aware, and I'm hardly old. But considering that it could be years from the time an agent offers to rep me, to the day I get an ARC of my book, I'm feeling the pressure to get an agent already...

And on that note... I'll stop procrastinating... and get back to my read through... and The Great Pumpkin...