Sunday, February 7, 2010

Lord Winter



I was trying to write a serious post. One describing the night I spent lying awake in my bed, with no power, listening to the ominously violent sounds of tree snapping under the weight of ice and snow. I love winter. But that night was awful. I didn't even have my beloved furbob Ari to protect me. He would climb up onto the bed but every time an artillery blast of sundering tree broke the night stillness, he'd bolt off into my art room. Then he'd creep back to the doorway and cry under his breath. The sleet rasping across all my windows didn't help.

Despite all this, I can't write a serious post. Not a really serious one. The fact is, once morning came, it just didn't seem so bad. Somehow, it never does seem so bad, after the fact. Funny how that works. And it WAS beautiful! I put up a few pictures here just to prove how thoughtful Lord Winter was in his decorating. It isn't his fault that some things break under his artwork, or that he gets a bit carried away now and then. Like Lord Death, Lord Winter can't help his own Making, or how us humans are sometimes frightened, disturbed, or just plain inconvenienced by him.



And we aren't the only ones. The horses are really bored by now. All but Saida, anyway. She doesn't have the brains, frankly, to have any idea of how bad snow can be. She never bothers to test footing, and she spent two hours playing with the neighbors frozen pine trees the other day. Never mind that the branches could splatter that empty noggin of hers if she broke them in their frozen state. I think the Patron Saint of Dysfunctional and Formerly Abused Herbivores must have a soft spot for her because she has thus far come through such moronic behavior unscathed. Sierra and Dixie don't bother, although they've nominated Saida (for reasons I can't fathom) as Clan leader and they follow her around at a fair distance. J.D. the donkey hasn't come out of the barn in three days. I abuse donkeys, you know. J.D. can tell you. He's sure that I brought all the snow just to inconvenience him personally. He informs me of how unamused he is every time I go out to throw hay. Which, J.D. feels, is also a form of punishment. He's ready to have all the grass back now, thank you very much. And, of course, I'M the one keeping it hidden from him. So the donkey says. Tonight, I threw hay and he went to each pile, checked it, and then proceeded to stand and cry. Donkey-style. Which means that he brayed. Which is a sound that could peel lead paint at a hundred paces. So if anyone needs help scraping old buildings for restoration, let me know, I'll send J.D. right over.



My Demon Chickens aren't so pleased either. That night I spent huddled in bed, waiting for a tree to renovate the house, free of charge, my Demon chickies were huddled in their pens waiting for the chicken wire above them to collapse because without power, their heat lamps were kaput. I went out the next day as soon as it was light enough to see and found them sitting quietly, still waiting for the snowmageddon to hit. It took four hours, a ridiculous amount of sweat and countless explicatives to free them from their iceboxes. Towanda celebrated my eventual success by giving me an egg. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my mother was doing the same thing with our outdoor cat pen. Yes, animals are also inconvenienced by Lord Winter.

We lost several large branches in our white pine, the top of one section of the spruce and a few branches of my dad's magnolia. But the trees will grow back, and Lord Winter only reigns for so long. Let him enjoy himself I say. As long as the people, furred and pink skinned, are alright, let Lord Winter play. It'll be spring soon enough. Then winter won't seem to have been all that bad. Just like the bright morning after a long night.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Whiteouts and Hay bales... And there was something else, but I forget...


I forgot what day it was. That is, until the lovely and impeccably organizedHeather from over at Edited to Within an Inch of My Life, sent me an email letting me know that her interview with me was up, I forgot what day it was. *sigh* I should hope that I'll get better at remembering things like this, since I'm working on becoming published, and they usually expect authors to remember things involving them directly. I SHOULD hope... but I know that would be a waste of a wish. You can check out my interview by clicking Heather's link. And I'd like to say THANK YOU to Heather for offering to interview me to start with. I forgot (are you surprised?) to thank her in my first comment over there... which I'll rectify momentarily.

Like many other writers, or artsy-fartsies, when I get into 'the groove', the rest of the world just sort of fuzzes out. This is awesome, as long as you remain in 'the groove'. But when you manage to pull yourself OUT of 'the groove' you're likely to be met with strange things. Like children who look familiar but are dressed in scraps from the laundry hamper and are eating things like raw hot dogs, sticks of butter and whatever else they could find in the second drawer of the fridge, which is as high as they could reach. In my case, when I come out of 'the groove' I usually find myself surrounded by equine drama. This week, that included, but was not limited to: Lame ponies, sick ponies, very pregnant almost-at-their-due-date-could-pop-at-any-time ponies, crotchety old stallions who think spring is here and want to prance for the ladies - even if it means falling on their butts in the ice, incorrigible brat-baby ponies who don't understand snow and having to stay inside, and one very contrary donkey who is convinced that he may actually starve to death before spring.

Most of this drama was abated and dispersed by simply attending to it as it occurred. But since someone decided to create a dimensional vortex in which several hundred square miles of the Artic was transposed with areas of central Virginia, we also had to plan for the incoming snow. So I've been busy hauling hay home to my own horses (and that poor starving donkey) in addition to regular work. Oh, and did I mention that my clone-sibling, code name Fenris, is pregnant herself? So she can't help as much with the heavy lifting and she isn't allowed to go skijoring behind unruly horses. Add to this my own maniacal compulsion to keep writing on several WIPs at once and you get madness. Utter, blissful, wonderful madness.

I added this picture as evidence of our snow plight. That's me on the dark horse who's face was strategically cut off by the photographer (Fenris' hubby, Chucky Duck). His name's Sierra. That's me ma on the sled (where did you think I get my wild airs from?) and Fenris on her fat strawberry roan, Dixie. The starving donkey is just out of view, in front of Sierra, wielding a stick in his mouth and preparing to give chase to us. My father wasn't present because he's a funeral director and he was off on a death call. Welcome to my family. This is my madness.

And madness, I must say, is awesome. But it tends to make one, vacant, at times. Which might come across as inattentive or uncaring. And I'm not either. I'm just artfully forgetful. Doesn't that sound better than saying 'I can't remember my own ass because my head is filled with characters and plot points'? Yup, definitely sticking with artfully forgetful. Of course, the results are the same. I wake up and check my email and discover that I've forgotten what amounts to my second interview of all time. But I'm on the right page now, and... and... what was I saying? I had to pause so I could write down this really cherry nab of dialogue I've been trying to get just right...

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Bum Shots and Bargains...


So I got sick. Again. And because the symptoms descended with astonishing speed and thoroughness, the brilliantly gifted and caring doctors from whom I sought relief decided to stab my ass with not one needle, but two. That's right ladies and gents, I managed to procure the attentions of multiple needles in the same office visit. So it's a good thing my bum is accustomed to the abuses associated with things like the crash landings that result from unplanned departures from the backs of large herbivores. Otherwise I might have had trouble handling all that action back there. As it was, my exquisitely adapted derriere took on those shots like Sergeant York taking on those German soldiers. Along with the shots (one for nausea, and the other antibiotics) I got three different pills: More antibiotics (take with food) more anti-nausea (so I could eat the food for the antibiotics) and pain-killing cough syrup (so I could weave through the house in a stupor and find something to run into or fall over). Amazingly, everything did what the docs said it would do. So now I'm feeling much better, although I HAVE misplaced a few things, likely because of that cough syrup. The car keys will probably turn up in the fridge, the TV remote in the spatula drawer and who knows where that spoon I was using for the liquid vita-C is... possibly stuck in the belly fur of one of the dogs... But at least I'm better! The bruised bum lives to ride (and probably fall) again!

Kind of like in writing... I'm officially back in the saddle and writing like crazy, and loving it. And I'm so not worried about the queries I have out right now. I'm totally immersed in my WIPs and loving where they're taking me. I WALLOWING in each one like a feline in catnip. And that's what it's all about. The writing. My first love is writing this stuff. I want to get published successfully because that could potentially give me even more opportunities to write. But if I never get published, I'll still have a stack of things I've written, things that some day a daughter, or son, or niece or nephew will read. I'll have something I made, something I loved, to leave behind. Which makes me happy.

And on that note, I'd like to show off the sort of Brand Name stuff I'm into! Everyone (most everyone) has a Brand they call their own. More and more nowadays, it seems that Brands are all kids think about or are interested in. Brand Names have been elevated to a ridiculous station of importance. But I'm okay with having one favorite Brand. For me, it's Etienne Aigner. I simply adore the classic taste and beauty of Aigner items. That said... I almost never pay full price for them. I can't help it. I drool over those luscious folds of leather with their graceful straps and glinting, appropriately placed, buckles of bling. And then I think about how many hay bales or bags of grain I could buy with the price that's listed on said luscious folds of leather. I'm not saying that I've NEVER bought an Aigner full price. But I can say that out of the double digits of Aigner items I own I've only paid full price for one or two. I prefer to filch the bargains. And I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.

Like with the writing, it's about the process. The hunt. I might not get this years hotness, but I'll get the steal on last years missed gems. Just like I might not get the publishing deal of my dreams, but I'll see my dreams made into a hard copy that my children can enjoy some day in the future.

So without further ado, I present, Aigner by Artemis!

Jacket: Vintage Aigner, $25, marked down to $15 at an antique store
Purse: Vintage Aigner, $50, marked down to $42 at the same antique store
Boots: Brand new, $140, marked down to $40 at a shoe outlet

And that's how I roll with my Brand of choice!