So I was checking out the totally fabulous Christi Corbett, who always has something interesting going on, and found out that she's participating in her first blogfest ever! Of course, being nosy, I had to go check out this blogfest, because, well, I'm nosy, plus there are PRIZES! Turns out that Brenda Drake is putting this thing on and the prizes involve the amazing Weronika Janczuk! Yes, that's right you can win several different goodies, all of them plenty enticing enough for me to enter.
Here's what you do:
Put up the first line of your finished manuscript on your blog and get all your friends' opinions on it.
Adjust first line per-critiques/as you feel needed
Post your first line in the comments on Brenda's blog
Cruise around to the blogs of everyone else participating and check out all of their first lines!
Go straight from here to Brenda's blog and read all of her instructions to make sure I haven't screwed something up... I am operating under the influence of codeine cough syrup and strong antibiotics at the moment...
Without further ado, here's the first line from my Dystopian YA titled EVERNOW:
Life is so much easier without underwear.
So whatcha think?
Monday, February 7, 2011
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Ha ha oh don't change it. I love it. Can I bribe you with more codeine just to find out what happens LOL!
ReplyDeleteYippeeeeeee! Artemis is coming to the blogfest and bringing her line about no underwear! Now it's a party!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I LOVE this line!
Christi Corbett
PS. Thanks for the link love :)
Hi Artemis
ReplyDeleteI love your opening line
Maybe tighter?
Life is easier without underwear.
Or a sense of why? Humour if in character/ more active swearing it it isn't?
Life is easier without chafing underwear.
HA! That is a great first sentence. It makes me wonder what comes next and if life really is easier without underwear.
ReplyDeleteHa! Don't change a thing, as this is perfect the way it is. I love when a novel opens right away with a strong voice like this.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious! Great opening line...I'd keep reading. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteSo funny! I would definitely want to read more after this line.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, that's just too funny!
ReplyDeleteFunny. I agree with Elaine that you can get rid of "so much" to tighten the sentence.
ReplyDeleteHaha...made me laugh out loud. Good first line.
ReplyDeleteNow this one, I liked.
ReplyDeleteSimple, intriguing, and not cluttered with unnecessary adjectives and clunky description.
I liked this, simple and engaging.
ReplyDeleteLove it!! I wouldn't change a thing ;o) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHa! Great first line--I'd definitely read more!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely love this! I laughed, I cried, I'd definitely read more :)
ReplyDeleteHaha this is great! I love this line. Don't change a thing. I'd definitely keep reading!
ReplyDeleteLove it. I don't have any suggestions and I get a feeling of dark humor looming ahead. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHmm, a humorous dystopian? I love it! Great job!
ReplyDeleteFunny. I like it. I like Christi Corbett, too.
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh out loud! I would definitely read on to find out the argument for going commando! :) Great job!
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS!! I think your line is a keeper. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Corinne
Your first line is funny and it got my attention.
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower.
bethfred.com
WOW! I'm so excited about all of the great responses! I think one of the coolest things about this line is that it literally just appeared in my head (in the persona of the MC) and I've never changed even a period or comma in it! Everyone says don't get attached to line, but I think once in a while you get one that is IT. Regardless of placement in the story.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks everyone who's started following me! Meeting people is the best part about blogfests!
It's perfect - AS IS!! I love it! :-)
ReplyDelete