Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Writer's Voice


Query:

Dear Amazing Agent,

Take one shy albino guy named Ansel. Add his two younger brothers, and an injured runaway girl with a hidden past. Shake thoroughly and stand back because things are going to get interesting fast.

Letting the nameless girl with the banged-up ankle sleep in his parents’ book shed for one night *seemed* like a good idea. But Catskin, as Ansel nicknames her, needs more than shelter. She needs someone to help her figure out how rejoin society. Prone to panic attacks and acts of defensive violence, she turns out to be as dangerous as she is fragile. Slowly, the sweetly strange Catskin begins to find a sense of normality and the bond she and Ansel already share blossoms into a mutual attraction.

Then an accident leaves Catskin hovering between life and death. Pressured by doctors, Ansel contacts her estranged parents, reconnecting her with the life she left behind. His actions provoke a shocking confrontation between the wealthy world Catskin was born into, and the starkly average one she now shares with Ansel. When Catskin’s overbearing parents use hospital policy to force their daughter’s return, Ansel takes the drastic measure of kidnapping Cat in order to give her a chance at freedom.

A Contemporary YA inspired by the fairy tale Catskin, GONE MISSING GIRL is complete at 85,000 words.

I have had five poems published in the anthology Poetry Pact 2011 (Volume 1) and several short stories published in the online magazine Underneath the Juniper Tree. In addition, I have had two nonfiction short stories published in the magazine ‘laJoie’. I am a member of SCBWI.

Thank you very much for your time and attention

Happy reading,

Artemis Grey



First 250:


 I have never been that guy. You know, the one surrounded by adventure and covered in awesomesauce. That would be my younger brother, Ethan.

 But Ethan wasn’t in the book shed that night.

 I was.

 It’s not like you get to pick and choose life-altering events the way you do socks from the bargain bin.


 I went out to the shed for a bottle of spine glue.

 Simple, right?

 But when I flipped on the overheads, I found a shrunken zombie lurking just inside the doorway.

 *Insert very macho scream*

 Right about then the broom slid sideways, hitting the light switch and leaving me stranded in the dim twilight of the Alaskan summer.

 Lovely.

 When my brain wasn’t immediately harvested, I took several deep breaths. Convinced myself that I had not, in fact, just seen a zombie in the book shed. Turned the light back on.

 It was still there.

 But it wasn’t a zombie. It was a girl.

 Filthy, tangled, rumpled and undersized, but definitely female. Definitely alive. Her mouth hung partway open now, eyes wide, yet disturbingly empty. Like her entire body was deserted. The void inside her yawned at me. A sort of awful maw that might chew me up, if I got within reach.

 Which, I had no intention of doing.

 Hell, I couldn’t even find my voice to bother asking who she was, where she’d come from or why she was in there.

 Of course, she wasn’t exactly a Chatty Cathy, herself.



32 comments:

  1. This does sound like it'll get interesting fast. Love the humor in this. Good luck!

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  2. Love the voice here, and the premise is right up my alley. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

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  3. Wow -- fingers crossed for you, Artemis. Good luck!

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  4. Like the interesting characters. Like the voice. You can write, man.

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  5. Ha ha - 'Insert very macho scream* - loved it! Good luck!

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  6. Okay, I love this already and only having 250 words is just mean.

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  7. Favorite new line *Insert very macho scream* lol and I can see I'm not the only one! Great voice, and great story telling! Good luck with this!

    --Suzanne
    www.suzannewarr.com

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  8. Great voice!! So much fun! Good Luck!

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  9. Love the humor and the voice!

    #77

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  10. LOVE the voice in this! Very well done! Good luck!

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  11. I smiled at the name catskin. I never knew that was even a fairy tale, so of course I had to wikipedia it. I love your spin on it and the voice.

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  12. Sounds interesting. Good luck! :)

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  13. I have never been that guy. You know, the one surrounded by adventure and covered in awesomesauce. That was all I needed. :) Great voice and your MC is very interesting. Best of luck! :)

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  14. Wow. I love the concept and the voice of your MC. And so many intriguing questions already from the query and this excerpt. I immediately want to know more about Catskin and her story, but I also want to know about the MC and his family: what kind of family has a book shed? Albino? Alaska? Great set-up to make me want to read more.

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  15. Yup, fantastic first 250. Hilarious and authentic voice. Very interesting setting. Love this one!

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  16. Love the voice in this piece and the pitch brings up a slew of questions that I want answered!

    Great job! Good luck!

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  17. Thanks so much everyone! This beginning has been rewritten more than once, so it's great to hear that it's changed for the better!

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  18. Great premise and a wonderful male voice - so refreshing. Well done!

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  19. Would definitely keep reading! Great start

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  20. What a fun voice! The idea of an albino protag is really interesting and I particularly loved the line about picking and choosing life-altering events. I wish you the best of luck!

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  21. "But it wasn’t a zombie. It was a girl."

    Ahah, that made me laugh. Great voice and interesting concept!
    Good luck!

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  22. This totally captured my attention. I really, really do want to read more! I love books that have "secrets" that need to be brought to the light, and I'm so curious now about the rest of it. Great place to start, love it, and most of all, the voice is *awesomesauce*!

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  23. Excellent voice and great concept. Best of luck to you!

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  24. This sounds great! Cool premise and good intro. Good luck!

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  25. “Hi, Artemis! I WANT YOU AND GONE MISSING GIRL ON TEAMCUPIDSLC13!!!!!!!!

    Seriously could not love Ansel or the voice more! Seriously. Love. Well done!!!

    Come join me on Mt. Olympus!!!”
    ~Cupid

    WWOWOOOOOOOO!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! *Stuffs confetti cannon with dinosaur sprinkles and cupcakes* BOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

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    1. SQUEEE!!! I will TOTALLY join you on Mt. Olympus! YAY!!! *goes to ice her thumb from hitting refresh nonstop in hopes of finding a comment about team picks*

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  26. Congrats to you!! Best luck in the agent round:)

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  27. I'd missed this one before, but love the voice! I hope you get a tone of votes :)

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  28. Awesome voice. The last line of the 250 is unbelievably great. Good luck going forward!

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  29. I'm so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!

    Christi Corbett

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