First Cup...

As I sit here typing this, I'm drinking my first cup of coffee in roughly four days. No, I didn't feel a sudden need to cleanse myself of the glorious sludge known as caffeine... I got sick and couldn't drink coffee. I couldn't drink anything but water, actually. Eating didn't go any better. But here I am, just the same, no discernible weight loss, on the mend and suffering only a mild withdrawal from the pain meds they had me on for the sore throat. That's right, I managed to find a virus who's only primary symptom was a sore throat so extreme that standard treatment involved Codeine and Codeine cough syrup taken in combination. Yeah, I might as well have been stuffed into a titanium canister and blasted into space for the last four days. I can't even say that I got any inspiration from whacky dream-type delusions because if any of them were cool... I don't remember. In fact, I'm still setting things down to my left like, I don't know, my left hand, and losing them for half an hour while I look to the right for where they got to. Yes, I don't do pain meds very often...


But there's an upside to all of the drugged-out sickness. It's like hitting 'reset' on the giant computer of life. All the files are a little hinky at first, but they're all there. You just just have to let them reorganize. Meanwhile, you get this chance to decide if you want them to be in the same order or if you want new files to take the lead. In my case, I came home from Sirens (check them out and sign up to go next year, I want to see you there) and the week after in Colorado and I was so deranged with excitement and the drive to 'get things done' in the writing sector of life, I was so spastic with the need to somehow get away from my current life and try to fast forward to the life I hope to get with my writing, that I got not much done anywhere at all. Well, I got several outlines done for what I hope will be an urban fantasy trilogy, and I did finish the rewrites of Evernow. But really, I did quite a bit of irrelevant, frivolous dithering. Then I got sick. And the world sort of stopped. It was nice, even nicer because it was out of my control, and I had no choice in the matter. Sometimes the powers that be see that you need your reset button whacked, whether or not YOU realize it.

While I was sick I did manage to:

Reread most of The Bones of Faerie. Love. Love. LOVE. This book. And now that I've met Janni, (she's like the coolest thing since sliced bread, no joke and SO MUCH FUN to be around... so is her husband, Larry) I love the book even more. If you haven't read BoF, and you have any love for dystopian, or Faerie, READ IT! Then head over to Janni's LJ page and tell her which minor character of BoF you'd like to know see more of, for a chance to win an ARC of FAERIE WINTER. I'm so stoked.

Write... sort of... Mostly, I made myself scratch something down on my current leading WIP, RED CHIEF, because I signed up for NaNoWriMo right before I got sick, and I refused to fold that quickly. I haven't read what I wrote yet *shudders at the thought* but at least pen hit paper a few times... if I remember correctly... oh dear...

Laid around with my cats. If you have a cat, you'll already know that all of my activities while ill - including trips to the bathroom - were chaperoned by the reigning authorities... my cats. I mean, seriously, they've put a lot of time into getting me properly trained, right? So they have to protect their investment by making sure that I can't actually fit down the bathtub drain...


Most importantly though, while I was sick, I let things go. I found a place where I can escape from panic over the idea that I might 'never make it' and will be 'trapped' where I am in life forever, a place where I can be at peace with the fact that I currently have no queries out, and be happy knowing that I'm 'going' to have them out, once I've gotten them as spit-polished as possible. I found a starting point again. A 'first cup' in my writing life. So when I finish my first cup of coffee and hit 'publish post' on this happy little blathering tangent, I'm going to go start writing on Red Chief... WITHOUT the intent of finishing it so I can start querying. I'm going to write it because I want to, because writing it makes me happy. Because that's what makes life worthwhile. Writing for the sake of writing. The rest will come in due time. Or it won't. I'll still be writing either way. And loving every minute of it.

I've Been Bad...

Okay, not that bad. But I did promise that I would get some more posts up about Sirens and my Colorado adventures... and, well, I've been revising instead...

I've finally 'finished' the revisions on Evernow. I've successfully (I think) added in another character, Lena, and although she doesn't show up until much later in the book, I think events are more believable with her as their vector. I also had some angst about Evernow herself coming across as too Mary Sue, even though I've never had a prospective agent, or beta reader make a peep about Mary Sueness... With the arrival of Lena, some of the pressure to save the day is off of Evernow, and yet Ever is able to maintain the stubborn indomitableness that is so much a part of her character.

Now I'm reading through everything yet one more time, trying to prepare to send off queries to a few select agents. For the first time, I'm having some Sicilian hair-rending attacks over the idea of these queries. It's hard to articulate why, since I've got an entire bowl full of rejections, but I think it's a combination of things. The fact is, I LOVE these agents and their presence in the literary world... rejections from them will be scarring. Not so much because I'll have failed to secure an agent, but because I'll have 'lost' the chance to show them I'm worth their time and effort. Another factor is that after a year of querying Evernow, I'm feeling as though perhaps I've been clinging to a star I 'thought' was going to fall... meanwhile other stories, or stars, were passing me by because of the time I spent on Evernow. I won't give up on Evernow, but I feel as though I may be facing a time when I'll be forced to set it aside. Then there's the fact that I feel like I'm not getting any younger. Rome wasn't built in a day, I'm aware, and I'm hardly old. But considering that it could be years from the time an agent offers to rep me, to the day I get an ARC of my book, I'm feeling the pressure to get an agent already...

And on that note... I'll stop procrastinating... and get back to my read through... and The Great Pumpkin...

Adventures, Revisions and Yawn....

The week since I got back from Colorado has been.... uh, hectic might be the gentlest way of putting it. And I'm not even counting the loss of my ancient dog, code name NeedleNose, into the equation. Apart from departing dogs, we've had: sick babies, sick baby-daddies, sick horses, stallions no longer able to 'do the deed', check cards that have been 'blocked due to questionable activity' (never mind that I've been home for a WEEK, in my home state, AND the card was flagged for travel, meaning that they blocked me from stealing money from... myself) and one rejection, which wasn't unexpected, but still stung. Yes, nothing like being sling-shot from the bliss of primitive camping into the maniacal madness of daily routine...

Sirens was AWESOME. Seriously people, start saving your pennies now because next years theme is Monsters! I'm going and I expect to see at least a few of you there as well. It's not just for women! We need all the attendees we can get to make sure that this conference is successful and keeps going. I admit that I haven't been to any conference besides Sirens, but trust me, it is amazing. I mean, where else can you go and chat it up with an author like Marie Brennan on the shuttle for an hour before realizing who you're chatting with? (face/palm on my recognition skills)

Me, lurking behind my Queen Marie of the Onyx Court... (photo credit to the lovely Caila)

I was in the Denver airport for like fifteen minutes before the air filled with shouts of greeting and meeting as returning attendees and newcomers began meeting up in the Boulder Beer and Tap House. There were so many lovely people there! *sighs happily* I intend to devote and entire post to Sirens when I've been able to better consolidate my thoughts on it, but needless to day I had an absolute blast and we NEED conferences like this! So please, check Sirens out and think about signing up to attend next year. You too guys! We only had three men, of which I only saw two, and while they were both wonderful and engaging and fun... they were also both married to lovely, talented, ass-kickingly awesome women (Marie Brennan and Janni Lee Simner)

Two of the Origami creatures brought to life by Janni's husband Larry.

Instead of riding back to the airport with the other attendees from Sirens, I was picked up by two longtime friends, Hilary, my first boss (at the farm where I still work) and her daughter Caitlin. I hadn't seen either of them for almost four years and it was GOOD to get back together. They whisked me away for a week of nonstop adventure that included camping, hiking and swigging a few beers by the fires in some amazingly beautiful places. I'll devote an entire posts to all of that as well, but here a couple of pictures.

Cait and I doing the Colorado squint and smile.




If you look at the upper right corner of the picture, you can just make out a pale blue dot on the rocks... that would be Caitlin's jacket. I'm sitting in a chair with my back to the camera. Hilary took the picture from about half a mile further down the canyon looking back.


Besides all the 'regular' stuff going on, I've had a new girl appear in the middle of my revisions on Evernow. Yes, there's a new girl in the story, despite that it's been 'finished' for over a year, and sent to numerous agents. I didn't ask for her to show up, she just did. And she's as outspoken and opinionated as Evernow herself... so I'm obliged to work her into the manuscript. She's a great asset, this Lena. Already she's made herself a pivotal, if secondary character, and so many things in the latter part of the book simply work better with her as their catalyst. Oh the joys of revision.... the ravens of revision as I've come to call them. But in this case, the ravens are guiding me to a stronger product and I can't wait to get finished and see how it all looks.

Now I'm off to burrow back down into the aforementioned revisions... *yawns sleepily even though she won't be in bed for hours yet*