Which One Would YOU Read???

Okay, there's an upcoming contest over at Daisy Carter's blog wherein for a window of time you'll be able to post your query and first 250 words of a finished manuscript. After the window of time closes, Daisy's amazing agent Tricia Lawrence will read all of the entries in the comments section and choose whichever she likes the most! So, here's my quandary: which ms to enter? To help me decide, I'm putting up the first 250 (rounded up to the end of the sentence) of each manuscript, along with information about that manuscript. Read both excerpts and then post a comment telling me which you think is the strongest. Other feedback is welcome. And I apologize if there's weird spacing or anything with the excerpts. Blogger is hating on me.


Entry 1)

Gone Missing Girl

YA Contemporary

I have never been that guy. You know, the one surrounded by adventure and covered in awesomesauce. That would be my younger brother, Ethan. But it wasn’t Ethan who found her. It was me.

It’s not like you get to pick and choose life-altering events the way you do socks from the bargain bin.

I went out to the book shed that night for a bottle of spine glue, but I didn’t bother to turn the lights on. So I didn’t immediately notice anything wrong. When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, though, I flipped on the overheads.

And suffered a mild heart attack at the sight of the little shrunken zombie standing just a few feet away.

The garish florescence accentuated the hollows of the its face, bounced off the jutting points of its cheekbones.

*Insert very macho scream here*

Okay, so really, I just yelped. Which I think is acceptable in a zombie situation.

And then the broom slid sideways, hit the light switch and left me stranded in the dim twilight of the Alaskan summer.

Great.

After several deep breaths I convinced myself that I had not, in fact, just seen a zombie in the book shed.

I turned the light back on.

Hello, in fact, zombie.

But it wasn’t.

It was just a girl. Filthy, tangled, rumpled and undersized, but definitely female. Definitely alive. Her mouth hung partway open, eyes wide, yet disturbingly empty. As if her entire body was deserted. Bereft of whatever it is that makes you who you are.







Entry 2)

Evernow

YA Dystopian

Life is so much easier without underwear. That was one of the first things I figured out. Since then, I’ve figured out a lot more. Like how to pee while holding a bow with an arrow nocked and drawn. In the Wild, you have to be able to do that.

That’s what I’m doing now. Crouching over a leafy sprig of creeper so my urine makes no sound on its way to the ground. My bow, Donriel, rests across my knees. My left hand holds it steady, my index and middle fingers twisted to keep tension on the arrow which is, in turn, applying tension to the string. I can let it fly while still crouched if I need to. But my friend, Brother the raven, is nearby at the moment. He’ll forewarn me of anything approaching.

I couldn’t do this wearing underwear but in just chaps and a loincloth it’s easy, with practice.

Eyes constantly scanning the forest around me, I pluck a large leaf of lamb’s ear with my free hand. It’s almost better than toilet paper. Softer but also more substantial. The pale leaf comes away with a smearing of blood.

Damn! The curse is a silent one, trapped inside my mind. I’m too smart to speak aloud. Damn. Damn. Damn!

I stare at the leaf for a moment then toss it aside and pick up another. Same result. The last time I cycled in the Wild, I was with Sal. Now I’m alone, with no one to keep watch or hunt while I lie in miserable discomfort.

Platform vs Writing....

So I haven't been around much recently in regards to blogger or facebook or any other social media thing, because life has just been busy this summer and what little time I've managed to corner for 'other stuff' has been devoted to either editing and query work or writing on first drafts (mostly Schneewittchen, but a little on Everlost and Kiss the Devil as well) and I've been feeling guilty about it. Guilty because I can't help but think that I'm losing some sort of position by neglecting the social media outlets, like if I suddenly get an offer to rep (not likely this instant since I only have partials out to a couple of agents, and although I'm sure they're super busy, it's been long enough that I'm going with a 'not interested' tone for them) I'll suddenly need that platform I haven't been building because I've been writing.

Then, randomly, as I was hurriedly scrolling through blogger while inhaling coffee at the barn this am, I saw this post by the lovely Rachelle Gardner about whether or not unpublished authors (in this instant, I am not counting myself as published, because I haven't be successfully commercially published) need a platform and how much time they should be spending on building one. It put me to ease about my lack of focus on blogging. So if I'm not around, or I just drop in and say silly random things, don't worry, I'm around. I'm just writing. And here's a little aaaawww for the day. My niece Walelu kissing Saida, my big nutter thoroughbred. This was the first time that neither one of them has been terrified of the other.

This Will Be Random...

This will be random because I'm at work and I should be drinking coffee, but I'm writing this... and I'm writing this without having had more than one cup of coffee, so if it makes little or no sense, that's why. And if the font seems strange, well, it LOOKS strange, but I don't have time to bother with it.

Mostly this is just a post to prove that I'm alive, since the last post was a long time ago and very morbid. I. Am. Alice. See, that's a coffee thing. 'Alive.' is what I was going for, but I just ended up being Alice instead. Anyway, Alice or Artemis, either way, I'm also Alive. (Just so you know, I accidentally wrote Alice again, just then, but I corrected it because the amusement has worn off now) And I've been busy. Enough that my posting feel behind again. No surprise.

Here's what I've been up to:

Reading Crit partner's AWESOME stuff.

Working.

Working out (Jillian Michaels baby!)

Trying to write on:

EVERLOST the sequel to EVERNOW

THROUGH A FADING VALE my knewish project which is sort of a period piece with fantasy elements

SCHNEEWITTCHEN my dystopian retelling of Snow White

Waiting on pins and needles for *crosses fingers* more requests pertaining to the two items that I have out with agents right now.

And preparing for horse shows at the farm.

So that's why I've neglected the blog. Just because I was triaging life and the blog got shafted. But I intend to do better from now on. Or *try* to do better...

And on another *squee* note, please go check out the amazing and awesome Jessica Bell! She's an inspiration, an accomplished writer and musician, and someone I have a lot to thank for. In 2011 she started an online group to promote frequent poetry writing, and one of the results of that is an upcoming anthology comprised of poems written by those of us in the group. Now Jessica is offering a chance to win copies of the Poetry Pact Volume 1 on her blog. Trust me, I'm super excited to be involved with this, but I can't say enough about the talent of the other writers involved! Seriously, check them all out! They're fabulous, and caring and they deserve your support! And say congrats to Jessica while you're there because she's got lots great booky things going on right now!